For That One Perfect Second

I sit here, just having woken from a nap that left me just as tired as I was before, and realize that this entire week has passed in a such surreal sense. It has been exhausting, mentally and physically and even as I type this I get the feeling that I'm not totally awake.

At times this week has felt like chaos, like I haven't had a shred of control over my life. Others, everything has felt like its going just as it should be, and that I couldn't have lived it better given the hindsight I now have. The range of emotions I've experienced lately had left me tense and unable to sleep well, yet right now I feel more relaxed than ever.

This week has only brought me closer to the people I care about, despite all the shit that has threatened to ruin these relationships. The fact that they can survive and grow stronger in light of this only further proves their worth to me.

I'm still waiting for a response from the UW, to whom I sent an application back in November. Family and career counselors at both the college and the highschool continue to tell me that they are slow to send out the acceptence letters and that almost nobody ever hears back from them in January. But I know of a number of people who have recieved responses in previous years as early as the end of December, so I'm not sure what to make of the silence. I also recieved a letter from my highschool counselor saying that I should make sure to be applying elsewhere soon because I may not hear from them until after the application deadlines for other schools. While this is sensible, it's not very reassuring. I don't really desire to go to anywhere besides the UW right now. So I guess I'm stuck looking anxiously through the mail on a daily basis and hoping it comes soon.

Yea so this weekends been pretty busy so I havent gotten around to posting anything till this evening. Friday was crazy, crashing at spencers for the evening, chillin at alex's birthday party, going on hella late night walks intoxicated when its like 28 degrees outside. All in all reminicent of old times. The only thing I regret was getting only 3 hours of sleep because it made functioning the next day a bitch. Saturday was pretty much just me taking 30 minute catnaps and watching sports on tv. The huskie girls volleyball team won the national championship for the first time ever too. They rocked the shit out of nebraska. And what else do they have to do in nebraska besides play volleyball? Not much that i can think of. But yea ended up going to the grandparents for dinner and going to sleep almost immediately upon getting home. This morning I got woken up by my fellow runners at 9, the assholes. They made me go running with them and a friend of mine from ASU. It was cool to catch up but 9 in the morning, god damn. The rest of the days been kinda a bust though, mainly build cabinets up in the shop. All in all I guess it was a good weekend, its had its high and low points.

Think i'm gonna hit up some snowboarding this week. Its going sexual.

It was so damn tight how everything frosted over the past few days. So I snapped some photos.

As I was coming back to Auburn from Seattle to go watch the gymnastics meet at the highschool last night I had one of the wierdest and most trippy experiences of my life. I was driving down Auburn way and I see a cop coming down the road in the opposite direction with his lights on. No one on my side of the street is pulling over so I just ignore that technicality, but as he comes closer to my car he turns his lights off and pulls down a side street. Seemed fairly ordinary so it didnt really phase me at all until another cop car come flying down the street with his lights on as well. And he as he come close to my car he turns off his lights and slows down as he goes past. If that wasnt already strange enough, that exact same thing happen 2 more times! All of this in a period of 3 minutes. I swear I thought I was hallucinating. And in the 3 minutes after the last one it took me to get to the highschool I saw two more cop cars without their lights on going in the same direction. It was crazy. I dont know what's wrong with cops in Auburn. Perhaps their all just soo bored they go around freakin people out just to extertain themselves. Anyway I just had to share that experience since I was like something out of the Twilight Zone.

As I sit here trying to get started on a six page essay for my English 113 class I just can't help but think on a conversation I had last night on just this very situation. For many people writing essays, even in college situations is a totally pointless exercise. We absorb all the necessary information during the in class lectures and understand then how to apply it in a practical sense. This is the aspect of a college education that I find is benefical and will help better us throughout our lives. But there is also a seperate part to college that I find totally useless and is generally my downfall in getting decent grades. For the most part, essays and homework are bullshit, nothing more than busy work that takes time out of my generally already busy day and often is the cause of many a sleepless night. Surely teachers must also see that work outside of the lecture hall is for the most part a waste of time and an unfair way to judge our understanding of the material being taught. So why then are we still forced to undergo this same damn process for every class. I think its because once you've gotten your college degree it warms your potential employer's heart to know that you worked your ass off on a daily basis to get that hardearned degree, even if the work didn't help you in the slightest along the way. In the world today it has become less about what you know, and more about how hard your willing to work. This outlook is fucked, truely. For those of us who value understanding and truth more than wasting our time just to put someone else's mind at easy, its an almost impossible situation to succeed in.

But as much as I hate it, I'll do their damn busy work just for the grade.

A couple of old school pics I just had to add.

This picture taken this last summer while camping along the Columbia River. It remains my favorite pic that I've yet taken.

A beautiful girl on my arm would have made the taking of this picture a hundred times more enjoyable. As it is I thought it turned out pretty sick.